Tantra Sacred Sexual Techniques
Although sex can be perfectly healthy and fulfilling when it is superficial – not to mention fun - tantra, sacred sex, sex technieques have the potential to bring us closer to ourselves, each other and spirituality. I think all consensual adult sexual expressions are valid and sexual variety can have a place in every healthy sex life. Wouldn't it be a shame if someone said you could only eat gourmet cuisine? And wouldn't it be equally outrageous if you were limited to eating only hamburgers? Don't you prefer living in a world where it is completely acceptable for you to enjoy both? I think sex is similar to food in many ways. Both sex and food are life giving. Both are essential. Both can simply sustain us or they can add beauty and sensuality to our existence. Food and sex have the potential to bond people to one another. And both food and sex have been used to create a heightened sense of spiritual connection. Most people tend to view superficial sex as something that occurs between strangers and assume that meaningful and intimate sex happens in the context of a long-term committed relationship. This pattern does tend to be more typical. But in fact complete strangers can share a deep and spiritual connection and conversely, a couple who has been married for years can find their sex life has become a boring and mechanical routine. Sometimes the defining element to the sexual union can be the intention of the lovers rather than whether they inhabit the same living space. And again it bears repeating that the same couple can choose to engage in sex for a variety of reasons which will vary from day to day, week to week, month to month, and year to year. So you may choose to pursue sex as a spiritual path to enlightenment some of the time while simply sharing superficial fun the rest of the time. And of course there are many shades of grey in between those two extremes. Remember, there is no "should" in sex – only what makes you and your partner(s) happy. In recent times the words Tantric Sex have garnered more than a little attention in the media. Even the famous musician, Sting, is rumored to be quite adept at Tantric sexual technique. So just what is Tantra? The term, Tantra, is a Sanskrit word defined as "any of a fairly recent class of Hindu or Buddhist religious literature concerned with ritual acts of body and speech and mind." Also a "doctrine of enlightenment as the realization of the oneness of one's self and the visible world; combines elements of Hinduism and paganism including magical and mystical elements like mantras and mudras and erotic rites; especially influential in Tibet." Tantra is not just about sex but in Western cultures, Tantra as it applies to sexual practice has received the most attention. Wow, this sounds exceptionally exotic and perhaps unattainable for the average person. But in fact you probably practice some Tantra today and just don't know it. Tantra encourages letting go and feeling our oneness with everything. Tantra is also an ancient path to sex. Tantric sex utilizes the breath to intensify intimacy as well as orgasms. Tantra is also a spiritual path which acknowledges the connection or wholeness of sex and spirit. The breath becomes a focal point because it is in the act of breathing that we unite spirit with flesh. Tantra literally breathes life into the sexual encounter. You can't over-estimate the importance of deep breathing to a full sexual experience. Any time you hold your breath or breathe shallow breaths, you are not accessing the full array of sensuality that your body is capable of. Full, deep breathing facilitates a fuller sexual experience. Conscious breathing also helps to bring your energy and your concentration out of your head and into your body. Tantric breathing can also prolong the sexual experience as well as the resulting orgasms. If you and your partner practice Tantric breath during sex, your connection and your erotic experience can find new depth and meaning as well as new highs in sexual performance. Most importantly, Tantra can assist you in incorporating a spiritual dimension to your lovemaking thereby creating more sexual wholeness.
Tantra is where sex meets spirit because it brings the physical sex act into unison with spiritual enlightenment. It has the potential to transform any sexual encounter into a spiritually imbued event. By bringing elements of meditation into sexual practice, you can begin to see the transformative power of sex. No doubt there have been times when you felt more emotionally moved by a particular sexual encounter. If you are in an established sexual relationship, you know that sex between you and your partner is not identical every time it occurs. Sometimes you feel more connected than other times. By studying and practicing Tantra and sacred sexual technique, you may begin to discover why some sexual encounters are more intimate and intense than others. You may be tempted to conclude that a particular sex act or sexual partner or series of romantic events for a particular evening are the deciding factor in creating intimacy and sexual intensity. Certainly all of these factors contribute to creating a given sexual encounter. But too often, people underestimate the power of intention. Your mental focus is the most important element to any sexual experience. With a spiritual approach to sex, it is possible to attain extremely meaningful and emotionally intense connections. If your intention is to create space for a sacred sexual interaction, you can do so no matter who you are with or what type of sex act you are engaging in. In fact, your partner need not be convinced of nor experienced in spiritual sexual practices to enable you to transform the sex act into an enlightening union. In addition to your intention, there are some very real physical phenomena which enable increased intimacy and spiritual connection. When you make any physical contact with another living being, there is an exchange of energy. In mammals, there is also a hormonal response to gentle touching or cuddling which immediately begins to establish emotional bonds. There are also energy centers in our bodies (some people refer to these as Chakras) which facilitate intense energy exchange. How can you incorporate sacred sexual techniques into your love life? My first recommendation is very simple and doesn't even require a sex partner. Next time you hug someone, just take a minute to breath into the hug and feel the flow of energy. That energy has always been there and you are no doubt already accessing the information on some level. By choosing to focus on it, you can become more conscious of this normal day to day experience. If you become more aware of the energy between you and others you will not only be able to channel more intense sexual energy when you desire to do so. You will also find a deeper and more meaningful connection to others in non-sexual situations. You can also try the following exercise all by yourself. Simply lie on your back and bend your legs at your knees so your feet rest flat on the floor (or the bed if you are lying on a bed). Begin to breathe deeply through your nose and exhale through your mouth. If you feel like making any noise while you breathe, do so. While you are engaging in this rhythmic breath technique, exercise your PC (pubococcygeus) muscles. You should contract your PC muscles when you exhale. Then as you breathe in, relax your PC muscles and gently tilt your pelvis up. Do this repeatedly without pausing. You may not feel anything but light headed for the first 20 minutes or so, but if you are patient you can attain something called a fire breath orgasm. The first time I did this, the orgasm felt like a ball of fire traveling from the base of my spine out the top of my head. It was not a genitally focused orgasm and I felt like I had just had sex with the universe. In my opinion, techniques are NOT responsible for creating a sacred or spiritual sexual experience. By focusing on your breathing, you can change your mental focus and clear your mind of extraneous thoughts. You can also create a flow of energy. Some people also find prayer helpful in bringing a spiritual dimension to sex. But the most important factor will always be your intention. If you choose to bring every facet of your being to the sexual encounter – if you don't experience a separation between your sexual self and your spiritual self – then sex and spirituality will occur together naturally. However, I have found classes in Tantra and lessons in conscious breathing to be quite helpful. I suggest you explore various avenues of learning on these and other related topics as it will assist you in finding your unique path to a more spiritually charged sex life.
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